Happy Early Valentine’s Day! Since this is a day that’s all about love and showing affection, it’s a great time to learn the top 5 ways you can show affection to your dog.
We humans often forget that dogs are a different species. Hugs, for example, mean something entirely different to your dog than they mean to you. Unfortunately, one of the most common ways children get bitten in the face is because they hug a dog.
Dogs don’t hug each other to show each other they love each other. Please read that sentence twice. The sooner humans acknowledge this, the more bites we will prevent and the more dog lives we will save.
If I had a nickel for every picture I’ve seen of a grinning person hugging their dog and the dog looking miserable I’d still be writing this blog for free (because I love it), but I would be writing it from a castle in Ireland on Wednesdays, and a hammock in Fiji on Saturdays. Say it with me: Hugs, mean something entirely different to your dog than they mean to you. Just because your family dog tolerated hugs and you never got bit in the face, doesn’t mean they liked it.
Bites do not happen out of nowhere. (Photo: a little girl hugging a Husky)
In the dog world, a dog that stands overtop of the other dog’s shoulders is the dominant one. In some cases, after the head is placed on the shoulders, the next step is mounting behaviour. When a human hugs a dog, although they are intending to send a message of love, they are in fact sending a message of dominance. Dogs have four options when facing a threat: fight, flight, avoidance, surrender/acceptance. If you remove flight as an option by restraining a dog in a hug, some will choose fight - a bite.
(Photo: a dog standing with his head on the shoulder of another dog who is sitting and raising his front paw )
This is NOT a hug. (Wolf mounting another wolf)
(Photo: two people bending over a dog and hugging it)
The energy of the human giving the hug and their relationship with the dog matters. You’ve probably witnessed this firsthand: The adult in the home who the dog views as his leader comes in and hugs the dog. The dog tolerates this, because this leader is trusted to come into the dog’s personal space. This doesn’t mean that the dog liked that hug, but it tolerated it because the person giving the hug has earned his trust and is allowed in his space bubble.
What happens next? The adult says, “Sure, anyone can hug him. Go ahead.” So the neighbour’s rambunctious son goes over to hug the dog for a photo and WHAM - a bite in the face for Timmy that “came out of nowhere.” That phrase! Again, with the nickels! If I had a nickel for every time I heard that, I would OWN Ireland and Fiji by now.
You’ve likely seen a few trainers of internet fame post pictures of their dogs hugging their shoulders from behind. They call this trick: selfie. This is a different trick altogether, and one that I do not recommend for any of my clients who are struggling with leadership. It puts the dog in a dominant (yep, HUMPING) position behind your back.
Sure, it’s a cute trick when you’re watching a dog show, but not when you inadvertently teach your PET dog that it’s okay not to have four on the floor. It won’t be a cute trick when they are covered in mud and walk up behind people in their Sunday best having a picnic in the park. Think about that before you teach that trick.
5 WAYS TO SHOW YOUR DOG YOU LOVE THEM:
Walk them every day. Dogs need walks. By fulfilling these needs, you are showing LOVE.
Give your dog nutritious dog food, clean water, and appreciation every day. All of these things show affection to your dog.
Remember to tell them when they are doing something right. So often we yell at our dogs to stop barking or stop chewing that sock. Let them know with a calm tone when they get it right and you will reap the reward of them repeating that good behaviour. A simple “Good,” speaks volumes to your dog.
Pet them the way THEY like to be petted. Some dogs are nervous. If you are patient, they may come to you wanting to be petted. Petting these dogs under their chin is a great way to gain their trust. Happy-go-lucky dogs may come over to you right away and love to be petted all over. Other dogs love “bum rubs” - that spot near the base of their tail that they can’t reach themselves is a wonderful spot to pet them. By treating every dog as an individual, you are showing true love and respect for their needs.
Treat them like a dog instead of a human baby. Respect is part of love. We often forget that dogs are a different species. They are not humans, even if they are dressed in bowties and sweaters. By becoming your dog’s leader you are fulfilling their need for leadership. You’re not becoming a tyrant boss, you’re becoming a leader - the one your dog will look to before they make a mistake. Lead on! Leadership is love.
Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!
Alyssa
(Photo: Golden Retriever puppy wearing a red collar)
This week’s photos by: Nicola Dreyer (lab on pink couch), __ drz __(husky being hugged), Carrie Yang (husky with it’s head on the shoulder of the other husky) , Yannick Menard (wolves), Constantinos Panagopoulos (humans leaning over dog’s shoulders), Berkay Gumustekin (puppy with red collar.)